And then there’s the fullstop.

Slushhhhh, purple colour blackcurrant slush! I put in the straw and keep stirring and suck in some slush with a wide grin. It hits my head. Frozen. Numb. I feel a bite snarl all the way up my head. Brainfreeze. I pause to take a deep breath. I walk on. A few steps later I take a sip, one more and some more. The sugar high I get is just not enough. I need the freeze and I’m tempted to do it all over again.

A red colour rubber band catches my eye. I pick it up and start playing with it. I pull and I pull and I pull and then it snaps. I flinch. It hurts real bad and yet I’m so tempted to do it all over again.

The tubelight starts to flicker and i sense low voltage. Kaput! there’s no power. Complete silence and darkness. I light a candle, place it on the table, pull a chair and settle down. I play with the flame, swinging my index finger to and fro. It’s warm and comforting . As the clock ticks and wax gather, i start to lose focus. I look around with impatience, but the finger still continues to sway. Ouch! I touch hot wax, and withdraw my finger. I wash my hands, drink some water and come back to the same chair, candle and flame. I’m tempted to do it all over again.

I fight. I explain. I listen. I keep silent when silence is the need of the hour. I am patient. I compromise. I give benefit of doubt. I turn away to hide my anger, while actually sometimes it’s the tears I hide. Then there comes a point. The accusations no longer hurt, the silence is no longer awkward, the pursuit seems pointless. I stand still. Should I or not walk away? But this once, I am not tempted to do it all over again. Because maybe, it’s just not worth it. Period.